If you just believe

Have you ever heard the song " Believe" from the movie Polar Express, sung by Josh Groban? It is the most heart warming song with the most important message--- faith.

I'm not talking about faith, as in religion. I'm talking about faith, as in the faith that no matter what happens, you believe in yourself. When everyone is looking down upon you, or when you feel like no one is about to support what you are doing, you NEED this faith, to make it through.

Sometimes, it sounds easier than done to just believe in yourself. There will always be doubt creeping up into your mind and you'll start to wonder: Hmm...can I make it? What if I fail? This is when you need to use the power of faith, to make it through.

Case and point:

I have doubted myself for my entire life. Until today, I'm still wondering whether my blog has any value at all. That is, if I'm crapping here. But, somehow, yesterday I experienced something unique and wonderful, and I WANT to share it with you.

I was going through my daily life in the usual way. Practising the piano, doing chores, going online and many more. I realized that I am always lacking something, a sense that I am unique and truly amazing in my own way. I have never really "conformed" to any social networks or to my peers for that matter. Always had the "natural ability" to stand out in some ways, like a habit. I'm almost 19 but I don't feel like one at all. I don't do things just because my peers are doing those. But I don't have faith that the way that I live my life is the best way I knew how.

So, I sat down and thought about the time when I felt very good about myself. I remembered that when I was young, I had a breakdown. Being the youngest in the family, I have always felt like I'm the one that was always protected and taken care of, quite dependent in many ways. I have a high sense of dignity, but not much confidence. And so, a single word about my ignorance would tear my fragile heart apart.

One day, I finally could not take it anymore and I cried hard. I asked myself: Why do I always feel so stupid and angry with myself? What can I learn from this? What's wrong?

From then on, my life completely changed. I started to look into personal development, self help books and stuff. Trying to search for answers. I continued this until my late teen years, but then I suddenly stopped, because I thought my effort was enough.

Then, I started to plunge down my emotional ladder again, but in a different way. This time, I did not depend on others to cling onto, but I depended on the internet and the computer. A totally different kind of delusion.

I realized, that the time when I had faith that I could change and face challenges was the happiest. I felt good about myself. Because I believed, although heart-broken, that I am not worthless, because I can change myself if I wanted to.

If you would just believe, the world would be a better place.

What I learned about hair care

I have never kept long hair when I was young. However, I was always fascinated by hair, in some strange and unique way. Sometimes, I was walking around in the mall with my family and I would then notice someone's beautiful long hair, put up in a unique updo, and then I would stare at it. I secretly yearned to keep my hair long instead of the "matter-of-fact" bob that I have kept for more than a decade. And finally, when I turned 15, I kept my hair long without having to leave it as long as possible before my mum has to cut it and then I would have to protest that long hair seems nice.

Since a lack of "role models" has caused me to be quite awkward to the business of making myself look beautiful, I had to turn to online resources. My mum always kept her hair short, my sister was a bit of a tom-boy, so I had to be quite independent in these stuff. Every morning, before I go to school, I would tie my hair in hairstyles that I have created my own, or braid one day, then ponytail one day. Although it is quite unnoticeable for those lacking in observation skills, my mum can't help but noticed it. So, she had nothing to say about me keeping long hair, since she doesn't have to worry about it.

Although I loved my long hair, and the opportunity to have fun with hairstyling, I have to confess I don't inherit the greatest gene pool of all time. My father's line is "blessed" with gray hair, kinda a signature symbol of me differentiating my maternal with my paternal family. So, my gray hair naturally shows now cos I'm having long hair. And classmates were all pointing out that I have LOTS of them.

I finally got the hold of a good hair care routine this year. I learned that shampooing my hair too often is not a good thing. Although I did that because I go to the gym every weekday, but now I have developed a good habit of not shampooing it.

So, here is my hair care routine. I hope you can learn a little something from it.

Sunday- Massage with coconut oil( only on the scalp and ends of hair, preferably at night before sleep), shampoo hair, condition hair
Monday- Rinse away coconut oil (in the morning), rinse hair, leave-in-condition hair
Tuesday- Shampoo hair, condition hair

...Then just alternate the routine everyday for one week.

And another tip:
Never sleep with your hair on a cotton pillow case, it leaves your hair dry and tangled. Try using a silk pillow case, or tie your hair up into a braid before you sleep.

Since I tried this routine for at least 3 months now, I can be quite certain that it can work for you too!

Extraordinary stories of ordinary people

There is always a story behind a person. Whether it is without drama, or just like any predictable story of a good girl or boy, it is always worth knowing. To me, listening to others talk about their story or their past experiences have a very weird and therapeutic effect, as if their happiness and joy can fill into my loneliness, and make me feel better.

If you watch American Idol, then you will know what I'm talking about. Potential winners of the show are always backed with interesting stories, whether it is a fight to be forever free from poverty, drugs or family problems, or a fight for life. These stories are somehow manipulated to draw in the sentiments of the audiences, and therefore make the potential "idol" become somehow worthy of being an "idol".

Sometimes, I use my leisure time to watch interviews about successful artists, entrepreneurs or celebrities, for example Donald Trump and Bill Gates( above). It's not that I'm really concern and have a thing about their personal life, but I just find it fascination that everyone has a different way of interpreting the things that happened in their life. Some may take an accident in childhood as a blessing or a sign of destiny, while some may take the road onto faith and sense of purpose. Whatever it is, I feel like I can learn from what they have experienced, and apply it into my life. Somehow, I feel connected to them in every level, because there are just so many "universal" things that we have in common.

Have you ever wondered how a person became who they are today? The path they took, and the story behind it? Well, I have always wondered. And it seems to me like it is much more important to be able to know what they sacrificed and did to get there, than what the papparazzi are concerned about. And it also seems much fairer if I just listen to them speak as a person, and appreciate their personalities, instead of looking at what they achieved and what they did wrong, because everyone is not perfect. In my opinion, if someone succeeded in something, they must have done something really special to get there. And that is what I'm interested about!

Watching ice skating: The spectacular Vancouver Olympics 2010

I love dancing. And I also love watching experts dance...especially figure skating. This morning, I finally took the opportunity to watch the Vancouver Olympics 2010. And I was delighted that ice skating was on.

Canada's figure skating duo was spectacular! Partly because I also caught a little bit of that Canadian spirit last year, and also because their choreography and skills are just astounding and breath taking! I secretly knew they would win the gold medal...and yes! I was Right!

As the couple stood singing their national anthem, I sang along as I still remember vividly the lyrics to the anthem of the country who I respect and appreciate in many ways because she not only gave me a wonderful education, but also led me to make more friends.

O Canada!