If you just believe

Have you ever heard the song " Believe" from the movie Polar Express, sung by Josh Groban? It is the most heart warming song with the most important message--- faith.

I'm not talking about faith, as in religion. I'm talking about faith, as in the faith that no matter what happens, you believe in yourself. When everyone is looking down upon you, or when you feel like no one is about to support what you are doing, you NEED this faith, to make it through.

Sometimes, it sounds easier than done to just believe in yourself. There will always be doubt creeping up into your mind and you'll start to wonder: Hmm...can I make it? What if I fail? This is when you need to use the power of faith, to make it through.

Case and point:

I have doubted myself for my entire life. Until today, I'm still wondering whether my blog has any value at all. That is, if I'm crapping here. But, somehow, yesterday I experienced something unique and wonderful, and I WANT to share it with you.

I was going through my daily life in the usual way. Practising the piano, doing chores, going online and many more. I realized that I am always lacking something, a sense that I am unique and truly amazing in my own way. I have never really "conformed" to any social networks or to my peers for that matter. Always had the "natural ability" to stand out in some ways, like a habit. I'm almost 19 but I don't feel like one at all. I don't do things just because my peers are doing those. But I don't have faith that the way that I live my life is the best way I knew how.

So, I sat down and thought about the time when I felt very good about myself. I remembered that when I was young, I had a breakdown. Being the youngest in the family, I have always felt like I'm the one that was always protected and taken care of, quite dependent in many ways. I have a high sense of dignity, but not much confidence. And so, a single word about my ignorance would tear my fragile heart apart.

One day, I finally could not take it anymore and I cried hard. I asked myself: Why do I always feel so stupid and angry with myself? What can I learn from this? What's wrong?

From then on, my life completely changed. I started to look into personal development, self help books and stuff. Trying to search for answers. I continued this until my late teen years, but then I suddenly stopped, because I thought my effort was enough.

Then, I started to plunge down my emotional ladder again, but in a different way. This time, I did not depend on others to cling onto, but I depended on the internet and the computer. A totally different kind of delusion.

I realized, that the time when I had faith that I could change and face challenges was the happiest. I felt good about myself. Because I believed, although heart-broken, that I am not worthless, because I can change myself if I wanted to.

If you would just believe, the world would be a better place.

What I learned about hair care

I have never kept long hair when I was young. However, I was always fascinated by hair, in some strange and unique way. Sometimes, I was walking around in the mall with my family and I would then notice someone's beautiful long hair, put up in a unique updo, and then I would stare at it. I secretly yearned to keep my hair long instead of the "matter-of-fact" bob that I have kept for more than a decade. And finally, when I turned 15, I kept my hair long without having to leave it as long as possible before my mum has to cut it and then I would have to protest that long hair seems nice.

Since a lack of "role models" has caused me to be quite awkward to the business of making myself look beautiful, I had to turn to online resources. My mum always kept her hair short, my sister was a bit of a tom-boy, so I had to be quite independent in these stuff. Every morning, before I go to school, I would tie my hair in hairstyles that I have created my own, or braid one day, then ponytail one day. Although it is quite unnoticeable for those lacking in observation skills, my mum can't help but noticed it. So, she had nothing to say about me keeping long hair, since she doesn't have to worry about it.

Although I loved my long hair, and the opportunity to have fun with hairstyling, I have to confess I don't inherit the greatest gene pool of all time. My father's line is "blessed" with gray hair, kinda a signature symbol of me differentiating my maternal with my paternal family. So, my gray hair naturally shows now cos I'm having long hair. And classmates were all pointing out that I have LOTS of them.

I finally got the hold of a good hair care routine this year. I learned that shampooing my hair too often is not a good thing. Although I did that because I go to the gym every weekday, but now I have developed a good habit of not shampooing it.

So, here is my hair care routine. I hope you can learn a little something from it.

Sunday- Massage with coconut oil( only on the scalp and ends of hair, preferably at night before sleep), shampoo hair, condition hair
Monday- Rinse away coconut oil (in the morning), rinse hair, leave-in-condition hair
Tuesday- Shampoo hair, condition hair

...Then just alternate the routine everyday for one week.

And another tip:
Never sleep with your hair on a cotton pillow case, it leaves your hair dry and tangled. Try using a silk pillow case, or tie your hair up into a braid before you sleep.

Since I tried this routine for at least 3 months now, I can be quite certain that it can work for you too!